I know it's cliché, but probably just because it's true!

Just do your best. So this is something I'm posting much after the fact, but what else is new? So finals week...rewind a couple of weeks.
I was feeling a little low about finals prospects. It didn't really seem like I'd be getting as many As as I would have liked to pull out. But that morning I was studying the scriptures and I read the parable of the talents. And I had never really applied that parable to myself yet! I realized that a couple of classes that semester in particular were subjects that seemed very abstract to me. I began to think about and realized that in the scenario for those classes maybe I was like the man that received one or two talents instead of five. But the thing I love about the parable is that it didn't matter how many talents they started out with, just how much they were able to increase what they had been given. I realized that Heavenly Father was fully aware that maybe I didn't start out with five pathophysiology talents. But if I did my best, that would be enough. I didn't start with five talents" and I probably wouldn't end with ten talents (like an 'A' perhaps). But say I had been given two talents in that aspect. And if I could add a few more to that, that would be great. And Heavenly Father would be proud of me for that.
So it's not about the final grade. It's about the progress. If you start out with a really difficult subject for you but are able to become more comfortable with it by the end even if you're not a professional at it, that's okay! Actually, that's great. So just keep that in mind for next finals (since it was too late for Fall finals ( maybe I just got one "punctuality talent") :)

My Special Friend

I was hoping that title would get you to read this. This really is about my special friend! But I'll explain that later. To answer that initial question of whether I could keep this blog thing up...I can't. And I'm not going to promise to be better. Because I might not be. But I am going to post today.

 I can't say enough times how much I love going to the temple. Classic example, the other week I felt scheduled to the max and didn't see how it was all going to work out. The time came for my trip to the temple and I almost talked myself out of it. But I don't want to skip a week. Because I don't want it to get easier to skip the next week after that. I need the temple so badly! So I went. After I biked up there it was getting pretty late in the morning. I was worried I would be late to my class. While I was in the temple though I felt like I needed to make a change in plans and do a sealing session instead of an endowment. I did it and it was so amazing. The sheer enormity of the blessings that are offered us struck me and I remembered a quote by Sister Reeves that says, "it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful and beyond our understanding that in that day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, “Was that all that was required?" Being single in Provo, Utah is hard. I groan inside whenever someone makes the "Marriage is great, you should all try it!" when they speak at church or similar comments like that. It's not that I'm not trying, it just hasn't happened yet. I miss having a missionary companion a lot, actually, and wouldn't mind having an eternal one of those! Being single can get a little lonely, to be sure. But whatever the costs, I know that whenever I do receive that blessing it will be amazing and I will realize how small the costs really were. So long story short, it was wonderful. And it took less time than a session and I made it to class with time to spare. 

Today I went to the temple with my awesome roommate Maddie. We just sat on the grounds and read and pondered for a little bit. I was thinking about something I had been told, that I had a special friendship with Heavenly Father. And for whatever reason I was kind of being cynical about it. Like, remember on the movie The Incredibles where the mom says, "Everyone's special Dash" and he says, "Which is another way of saying no one is"? I was thinking that Heavenly Father loves us all equally, so how could I possibly have a special friendship with Him? Wouldn't we all? I was thinking of it in that context-that in order to be a special daughter to Heavenly Father I would have to be different somehow. But while I was sitting there it occurred to me that that's not really what special means. Doesn't special indicate some kind of exceptional or remarkable quality, not just necessary different? I realized that we all hold a divine, special relationship with God. I had been feeling a little let down the past couple weeks, but I realized that I had a special relationship with God, unlike any other earthly relationship, and that I had a friend who would be there for me always, no matter what. 

Finals Friday= Fantastic. But really.

So...Friday was like the best day ever. Which may be hard to believe considering it was the first official day of finals. I took my first final in the morning and started to plan how I was going to finish all of them. I was planning on taking another on Saturday, and had something in the afternoon and I got all antsy because I usually go to the temple on Saturdays and I have to go once a week and I was going through everything I had to do in my head and I just didn't see how it would work out! I thought I could go Friday night but then I remembered I had agreed to cover at work for a friend. Dang it! I was getting a little desperate and probably a little sassy so I just said in my head to God, "Well I'll go tonight if you get me off work!" And then I realized I'm not really the one here who sets the terms and I would just need to make some time somehow Saturday. Literally a couple of hours later my friend texted me and said she had found someone who was willing to take the whole shift if I wanted, um YES I want! God is good.

So I pedaled my bike up that hill and went to the temple. Which reminds me, WHY do we use the phrase "it's just like riding a bike" to  describe things that are supposed to be easy. Like, is it just me or is riding a bike actually real hard? Like, first of all, where do you go? I feel bad taking up the sidewalk because that's for pedestrians but I feel slightly terrified to ride in the bike lane here in crazy Provo town! And has whoever invented that phrase ever rode a bike in a dress? Or did they ever ride a bike on anything other than perfectly level, flat ground? Seriously. I like to think that I'm in pretty good cardiovascular shape. NOPE. Either that hill is killer or I am a wimp.

But the temple looked so beautiful, as always.

 It was so great. The temple is definitely the place where I feel closest to the Savior and sometimes I wish I could stay in there forever. There is a beautiful painting of Christ in the Celestial room. I love to sit there and just look at Him and think of Him. But the time always comes to go back out into the world. This time the song popped into my head, If the Savior stood beside me( this version is soooo good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I8QCqaaP4A). And it reminded me that although I can't see Him, the Savior does walk with me and watch over me! He is never far away. :)

I love the last picture because leaving the temple you see Utah Lake and with the mountains and everything it reminds me of Lake Titicaca and another very special place for me.

Also, I made these meme just now to describe how I feel.

Also, just as a side note, I'm pretty sure this guy is drinking a refreshing bottle of cream soda.
Ahem. So anyways, I got out of the temple and responded just in time to see my favorites! Taylor, Jenny, Carson, and Nolan who were in my neck of the woods. They gave me an awesome surprise!!

This is a bowl. It contains( or at least contained haha) brownie mix, a water bottle, flashcards, a note, pens, chex mix, candy ( oh they know me so well) and drumroll.....

Unicorn and kitten pencils. Can life get better? I suggest that it CANNOT!

That is a picture of my face describing how I felt instead of trying to describe it with my words. Did I take a final with one of those pencils the next day? Yes! Did it break? No! Did it smudge? No! Did it give me immeasurable emotional strength? YES! And I got a 96 so yeah. Thank youuuuu!

And then the other texts where from Alex telling me we were going to the Chocolate? Remember how at the beginning I talked about how busy I was? Yeah. Disregard that. There is never not time for the Chocolate. Not now, not ever! As grandpa promised, " ice cream fills in the cracks". And because Friday was pretty crackless, it was just like putting a delicious scoop of french vanilla ice cream on top of a hot, gooey, melty chocolate chip cookie. Actually, that's really what it was. That's literally what we ordered. So it really was great. 

Why on earth would I think it's a good idea to start a blog?

     So. Where to start? Maybe a good place to start would be explaining that I have been back in the good ole United States of America for almost four months now. FOUR! I didn't even know that until I just wrote that, wow! Along with that, I am no longer a full time missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kind of a big adjustment there! Perhaps some of the biggest changes from being in the US and being a "normal person" have been: flushing my toilet paper down the toilet( love it!!), seeing my family more, not walking up mountainsides to go preach the Gospel anymore, not speaking as much Spanish, and not worrying about being bit by rabid dogs every time I round a corner while running, as well as many others. So how has it been? That's a tricky question to answer. IT'S BEEN SO GREAT. American food, talking to my family on the phone whenever I want, living with the infamous Sam aka Hermana Coffey, etc. But also sometimes really hard when I miss my sweet Peruvians. And discouraging when I wonder things like, "Have I done any good in the world today?" Like, truthfully? Because the grade I just got on that microbiology test is not going to be helping anyone anytime soon( except for the people I just created a curve for;you're welcome!!) But anyways, things like that.
     I don't like to be sad( you don't say?). And as of late I have been trying to study about joy and being happy. I love some great talks out there! Check out President Uchtdorf's Forget Me Not talk https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng and President Monson's Finding Joy in the Journey. I've been trying really hard to be happy happy. And think happy thoughts. But somehow I've found myself down a lot these last couple of months. BUT before you quit reading this because I sound so whiny don't worry, I found a solution( and by me, I mean God put one in my brain)!
     I had just finished watching the talk Finding Joy in the Journey. And while I had been studying, my dearest sister Cammilla Capybera sent me a text telling me she sent me something in the mail!!!!!MAIL=CHRISTMAS! That is one thing that has not changed from the mission. I ravenouslyopened up the envelope she sent and I found this.

     Uhh, does anyone else realize how awesome this is? I hadn't told Cammie anything about what I had been studying. AMAZING( by the way, Cammie makes lots of super awesome stuff https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWordsmithGallery?ref=search_shop_redirect). I love it when people follow the promptings of the Spirit. Here's a picture of the sweet lady herself. 

      So that just helped re-affirm that God really wants me to work on this! I have been pondering on it a lot and the answer I got may be a little disappointing given my lack of graphic design skills and that fact that Spanish seems to have wiped out all of the adjectives from my writing, but the answer was a blog. On my mission, lots of discouraging/bizarre things would happen but it was easier to think about them in a humurous/awesome light when I got excited about sharing my experiences with my family. For example, that one time I saw a cow's organs being harvested as we were trying to teach some people, I could have been absolutely horrified but it was such a novel experience I couldn't help but get excited about sharing it( http://hermanabeckstead.blogspot.com/2013/08/week-6-july-22-hola-im-in-peru-es-cierto.html). So that's the goal. NOT to see more cows being butchered, but that I'll be able to see the seemingly terrifying/discouraging/mundane events in my new life under a new light. I'm hoping that seemingly mundane tasks will become inspiring and hopefully humorous too( although if you want a really funny blog, you need to visit my friend Alex's blog http://alexostler.blogspot.com/ . But for reals. Read it. All of it. It'll make your life better.). So really, this blog is pretty selfish. But if some of you out there could just act like you read my blog that would be awesome! Sharing is good. With that in mind, please share your experiences on here too, I'd love to hear them! 

So here's to seeing if I can keep up with this thing. :)